What have I been missing? (Part one)

As I sat, quietly, alone in my home office, I can still remember thinking: “Why isn’t this working –

what have I been missing?” While still somewhat of a baby Christian, I had been sincere in practicing my faith, reading the Bible, and pursuing my relationship with God, but my life seemed to be spiraling in the wrong direction. My business was faltering, my finances were in distress, and my home was in turmoil. I was now standing at a critical crossroad early in my Christian journey. Do I take the road of least resistance and return to running my own life, or do I dig deeper to unlock the promises of my salvation?

My desire to learn and grow in the Lord was genuine, but all the aspects of my life that I hoped would improve continued to unravel. So, the questions kept coming. Why does this walk with God seem so mysterious at times? Wasn’t there a cliff notes version to understanding God’s truth and garnering His blessings? What would it take to turn the corner and realize an improvement in my circumstances? In reality, the answers I sought had been right in front of me the whole time. Jesus promised answers to those who seek Him.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8)

I decided to take Jesus at His word and made the decision to be more consistent in searching the Bible for answers. As a new Christian, I was encouraged by everything I was learning about Jesus, but it wasn’t until much later, as I matured in my faith, that I discovered there was an enemy determined to undermine all that God had intended for me. I did not realize it then, but my enlistment in God’s army had immediately placed me at enmity with Satan and his legion of fallen angels (referenced in Scripture as demons and/or unclean spirits).

How Did I Get Here?

Before we venture further, allow me to share a little more of my background. I grew up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Both of my parents were heavily involved in the Catholic church, and I remember attending mass every Sunday as a child. I even served as an altar boy for several years. Perhaps it was because of my age or immaturity, but I never really gained any spiritual insight or depth of conviction about my faith, even after attending Catholic school through the eighth grade.

By age 14, I had fallen away from the church and stopped attending except on holidays. (You know, a “CEO Christian” – Christmas and Easter Only.) For the next 20 years, religion was a topic I purposely avoided. In fact, for most of those years, I was a practicing Agnostic. I learned to rely on myself and developed a quiet confidence in running my own life. I was proud of the fact that I had become a self-made man.

By the grace of God, I survived my ignorance, and gained my salvation when I was 34 years old. A Baptist Pastor became one of my best friends as well as my spiritual mentor. I still remember his simple advice – buy a New King James (NKJ) version of the Bible, start reading in the New Testament, and join us for church on Sundays.

I took his advice, and once I started reading the Bible, it seemed as though the words would jump off the page and come alive in my heart. I very quickly developed a sincere hunger and deep fascination for God’s Word. I wanted desperately to learn more and couldn’t wait for Sunday mornings, when Pastor Ford would make the stories of the Bible come to life and relevant to my everyday circumstances.

Keep Reading Part Two Here!